


Respite

by Enonem



Category: The Shadow Campaigns - Django Wexler
Genre: First Time, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:35:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6480088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enonem/pseuds/Enonem
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The journey from Khandar to Vordan is a stressful one and gives an outlet to long-building tension.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Respite

The atmosphere in Janus’ cabin was far from pleasant.

They had been at sea for weeks now and should be approaching Vordan in a matter of days. For all that he was apprehensive about what would happen then, Marcus thought that the crossing could not end too soon.

Some nights, like this one, the colonel would invite Marcus to his cabin. Marcus had hoped to receive some explanation as to Janus' plans once they reached home, but he had been repeatedly disappointed. By now, he was acquainted enough with Janus that the matter did not surprise him, but there was no denying that being kept in the dark was affecting his mood. Being confined to the restricted space of the ship did not help matters.

He glanced at the colonel, repressing a sigh of irritation. Janus had made an attempt at conversation earlier, asking Marcus about some Khandarai customs, but at some point his attention had wandered mid-sentence. He had been sitting quietly in his chair ever since, staring at his hands with a slight frown, lost in who knows what thoughts. The same thing had already happened on two other occasions.

Marcus wondered whether the journey was taking its toll on the colonel as well. Janus always seemed unaffected by virtually any situation, but his behaviour had been odd lately. _Well, odd_ er.

Just as Marcus was considering what would be the politest way of taking his leave, Janus seemed to recover. He looked up and gave Marcus a brief smile.

“My apologies, Captain,” he said. “My thoughts seem to have gotten the better of my manners. I have been neglecting you.”

“Not at all, sir,” said Marcus, perhaps a little too quickly. 

Janus had to have picked up on Marcus’ irritation, because he gave him a long, serious look. “It is stifling in here, is it not?” he said, in a gentler voice than usual. “Would you care to join me on the ship’s deck?”

Somewhat taken aback, but eager for any excuse to leave the cabin, Marcus accepted gladly.

Once outside, Marcus took a deep breath of sea air and felt his spirits lift. The sun had fully set by now and the few lamps on deck gave little light. Even so, Marcus leaned with his elbows against the railing and looked out into the night. Janus came to stand next to him. They did not speak, but now the silence was companionable rather than heavy.

It was oddly calming, seeing the darkness around them. There was no Khandar, no Vordan. Marcus could only tell that the ship was moving from the whisper of the water against the hull, and that was relatively easy to ignore. For a short time, Marcus was able to forget the troubles behind him and the uncertainty ahead and to just enjoy a quiet moment on a cool evening.

Beside him, Janus tilted his head backwards until he was looking straight up at the vast canopy of stars in the black sky. He kept that position long enough for Marcus’ neck to ache in sympathy. Janus, however, gave no sign of discomfort; instead he let out a breath and visibly relaxed his posture. He had such a look of pure bliss on his face that Marcus found himself staring. He was seeing a side of Janus which he had glimpsed during the first few days of their acquaintance, but never since. Looking at him now, he found it suited the man as much as did his military genius. Perhaps even better so, judging by the way his large eyes were shining in his handsome face.

Marcus blinked.

 _Handsome. Yes._ With the exception of his eyes, Janus may not have been striking, but he was certainly good-looking. Marcus took in Janus’ graceful features as if he had never seen them before.

The shadow of a thought crept on Marcus of another, softer face, of long dark hair and spectacles. And of searing lightning.

He pushed the memories away in a manner he was quickly getting used to, before they could take too much of his attention. He was surprised to find that the way the lamplight played on Janus’ left cheekbone was plenty a good enough focus to keep him anchored to the present moment.

Just then, Janus turned towards him as if to say something, but stopped short when he met Marcus’ gaze. A slow look of realisation spread on his face. Marcus hastily turned to face the water, hoping the darkness and his beard would be enough to hide the sudden redness in his cheeks.

Something had shifted in his mind looking at Janus. A belated realisation that suddenly made him very, very aware of how close he was standing to the colonel. He fancied he could even feel the heat from his body.

Dozens of little moments during their stay on board, seemingly innocent in themselves, fell into place in Marcus’ mind, ready to explode into something that could have unpredictable consequences. Small violations of personal space, the occasional look or smile which lingered ever so slightly longer than appropriate…it was a game of hints they had been playing, unconsciously so on Marcus' part. On Janus'... well, there was only one option really.

Marcus did not look anywhere but straight in front of him, his mind working frantically, trying to figure out what to do, where to go from now. He could feel Janus' eyes on him.

There was movement at the corner of his eye and he spotted Janus' hands resting very close to his own and hidden from the sight of the few sailors on deck. Janus made no move to touch him, he was simply letting his hands hang there. Easy for Marcus to reach out for. Or to ignore. It was a statement. A statement of patience and acceptance. Marcus felt a sudden surge of gratitude and relief and let himself relax, knowing Janus would not push him.

Once he did not feel pressured into a decision anymore, he found it much easier to make it.

He had lost virtually everything he knew and held dear, the world had revealed itself a lot more frightening than Marcus had ever suspected and he was days from returning to a home that was now all but unknown to him.

At this moment, he was being offered something he wanted and needed all too badly. That thing was comfort. He did not care if it would only be for one night. He did not care if he would never be able to speak of it again. Right now he did not even care if he would end up regretting it.

Before he could think himself out of it, he reached out and brushed Janus' hand with the back of his own.

Janus reacted slowly, barely stroking Marcus’ hand, rather than taking hold of it. He was still giving him a way out. Marcus did not want it. He interlaced his fingers with Janus’ and closed his hand. After a moment, Janus returned the pressure.

They remained like that for some time, without speaking or looking at each other, content in the simple pleasure of holding hands.

After a few minutes, the comfortable stillness began to falter and the slow strokes of Janus’ thumb became enough to make Marcus shiver. He turned his head and saw that Janus was staring at their joined hands, but his eyes were unfocused and he had his lower lip between his teeth. He looked up at Marcus and the message on his face was very difficult to misinterpret.

Marcus decided he’d had enough air for the night.

~

The walk back to Janus’ cabin was calm and slow. Excruciatingly slow on the stairs, in fact, as Janus had to be careful with his recently mended leg. Marcus wondered if it would seem appropriate for him to offer the colonel his arm, but eventually thought better of it, in order to avoid arousing suspicions. _As if we hadn’t just been up there for who knows how long, hand in hand like a pair of teenage lovers._

As soon as the door shut behind them, Janus more than made up for the brief delay when he threw himself at Marcus with almost animalistic abandon, covering his mouth with his own and pushing his tongue in without hesitation.  
Marcus wasted little time with surprise. He sunk a hand in Janus’ hair and returned the kiss with matching enthusiasm. 

Janus’ body pressed tight against him and Marcus held him at the small of his back to pull him even closer. Janus responded by nestling his thigh against Marcus’ crotch and rubbing slowly. The motion forced a groan out of Marcus and he felt Janus’ lips curve in a grin against his mouth.

Janus pulled away just far enough to allow them to look at each other. Those huge grey eyes looked at Marcus with an intensity that was half-frightening. The other half of his reaction was very physical and localized.

He grabbed Janus around the waist with a growl and pressed his tongue to the colonel's neck. He felt Janus shiver at his touch. A hand gripped Marcus’ hair and held him against Janus’ throat, which he dutifully proceeded to cover with kisses and nips. He opened Janus’ uniform to gain better access.

They took their leisure undressing and exploring each other’s bodies with their hands and their mouths. Eventually Janus was kissing a straight, rapid line on Marcus’ bare skin from the hollow of his throat down to the waistband of his trousers, which he unceremoniously pulled down along with his underthings, exposing Marcus’ already generous erection. Kneeling as he was, Janus looked up at Marcus, as if to ask for permission. Marcus answered by angling his hips so that the tip of his member almost touched Janus’ lips. Janus did not hesitate further and took the whole length in his mouth.

Marcus’ knees almost gave way and he had to lean heavily against the wall while Janus’ lips and tongue worked him mercilessly.

Somewhere in his lust-addled brain, it occurred to Marcus that he had never received attention quite so skilled before. He almost burst out laughing at the thought that Count Mieran sucked cock better than any Khandarai whore. Just then, deft fingers brushed over his sac and he almost came on the spot.

“Janus-” he managed to choke out. “Janus, stop!”

Janus obliged him with a grin. His lips were swollen and his eyes danced with mischievous humour.

 _Oh, you wonderful bastard._ Marcus bent over to kiss him but, light headed as he was, he ended up landing rather heavily on his knees. Janus let out a soft, not unkind chuckle and gave him a brief kiss. He helped Marcus out of the tangled mess of clothes and boots he was trapped in, before he rose to his feet and walked over to the small bed in a corner of the room. Still fully dressed from the waist down, Janus sat on the edge and beckoned Marcus forward.

As Janus moved away from him, Marcus had a moment of hesitation. Now that there was some distance between them, he saw the colonel in Janus again.

Janus noticed his distress. "What's wrong?"

Marcus gestured at the space between them. "This is," he hesitated, unsure how to continue. "Vastly inappropriate,” he finished lamely. It was too late to take anything back after all.

Janus looked at him closely for a moment before bursting into a short laugh. "You may keep addressing me as ‘Sir’, if that would make you feel more comfortable."

Marcus couldn’t help but laugh himself. Just like that, all worry was gone as quickly as it had come.

“Now, Captain,” said Janus. “Should I order you to come here and undress me, or will that not be necessary?”

A wild grin appeared on Marcus' face as he crawled his way to the bed and knelt between Janus' legs. “Yessir,” he whispered. 

He took hold of each of Janus’ legs as he removed his boots, kissing them through the cloth. Janus gave a low appreciative noise and let himself be pushed down until he was lying on his back. Marcus climbed on top of him and began pressing slow, wet kisses to his chest. He took one of his nipples gently between his teeth and flitted his tongue over the tip. He allowed himself a self-satisfied smile when he heard Janus gasp.

He felt a hand pressing on the top of his head and for a moment wondered whether Janus was trying to push him away. He looked up and saw Janus biting his lip and looking at him with pleading eyes. _Oh._

“Getting impatient, aren’t you?” Marcus teased.

He chuckled at the slight frown he received in response before shuffling backwards to quickly remove the remaining layers of Janus’ clothing.

He couldn’t help a moment’s pause as Janus’ member stood erect in front of him. He was definitely treading on new ground here. He gingerly kissed the head of Janus’ cock and felt his hesitation dissipate. Now all too eager to pleasure, he took the whole thing in, inch by inch, sucking gently and running his tongue over the shaft.

Janus’ voice came to him in an indistinct blur of moans and half murmured speech, in the middle of which Marcus heard the words “worth the wait”. Marcus smiled before pulling away, ignoring Janus’ small sound of protest.

"Oh?" He moved to kiss Janus' inner thigh. "And just how long have I kept you waiting?"

Janus flashed a smile. "Roughly the time it takes to quell a revolt of religious fanatics, cross a desert and make it most of the way back home."

Marcus gaped at him, no longer in a playful mood. "All this time?” He asked in disbelief. “All this time and you never-"

"Never what?" Janus replied with a sad smile. "What could I have said or done, Marcus?"

Marcus looked away, aware that, back in Khandar, any demonstration of interest on Janus' part would at best only have confused him, if not outright alienated him from the colonel. Especially with…he gripped the sheet to hold back another tide of memories. _Not now._

In a second, Janus was on him, gently holding his face in his hands. His eyes were very close and full of affectionate concern. "Marcus..."

_He knows what I was thinking, of course he knows._

Marcus kissed him. Deep and desperate. Janus' hands glided through his hair, his shoulders, his back, soothing him and grounding him. Soon enough, Marcus forgot everything except the man in his arms. Both men moaned against each other as the kiss grew more heated.

Janus turned them around and pushed Marcus down on the mattress, draping himself over him until they were flush against one another. His weight was warm and comforting. Marcus put his arms around him and held him close, still kissing him deeply.

Janus began to move slowly and purposefully, grinding their hips together, causing their members to rub against one another. If Marcus found the sensation alien, it was not any less pleasurable because of it. His ears were full of the wet noise of kissing, mixed with muffled groans. The sound went straight to his cock, making him cling harder to Janus. In response, Janus broke the kiss and looked down at him. His eyes were heavy and dark with lust.

"Fuck me, Marcus." Janus whispered.

Too aroused for coherent speech, Marcus simply licked his lips and nodded.

Without breaking eye contact, Janus put two fingers in his mouth, then hoisted himself slightly on his knees and reached back to insert first one finger, then two inside himself.

As soon as he pushed his fingers in, Janus let his head fall on Marcus' chest with a groan of either pain or pleasure. Unsure what else to do, Marcus ran his hands soothingly over Janus' head and shoulders and was rewarded by a gentle sucking at the base of his neck.

Their position gave Marcus a very pleasant view of Janus' fingers working in and out of him. Combined with the sounds Janus was making against his throat, it was driving Marcus mad with anticipation. He reached for his own cock and started stroking.

When Janus was done preparing himself, he stepped back until his face was above Marcus' groin. He gently pushed Marcus’ hand aside and took him in his mouth again, briefly, in one fluid movement to get him wet. Marcus tried and failed to repress a shiver.

Looking straight at him with a hungry grin, Janus straddled him before he took hold of Marcus’ cock, positioned it at his entrance and started pushing down on it, slowly and carefully. Marcus put his hands on Janus’ hips and stroked gently.

Janus made for a mesmerising sight, towering above Marcus with taut muscles. Marcus let his gaze climb slowly up the lithe body, past Janus' neck, which bent slightly backward as if to offer itself to bites and kisses, on to his parted red lips and his large eyes, now shut in concentration and pleasure.

_You're beautiful._

Janus blinked his eyes open and looked down at Marcus with one of his summer lightning smiles.

Marcus felt himself blush. Or at least, flush redder than he already was. _Fuck. Did I say that out loud?_

The embarrassment was quickly washed away with the rest of his thoughts when Janus sank all the way onto him.

It took Marcus a considerable amount of self-control to keep still as Janus began to ride him at a cruelly slow pace, rolling his hips against him.

As they gradually picked up speed, Janus clenched his hands over Marcus’ chest, tearing away a few hairs. Marcus let his own touch wander over Janus’ body in one long movement that started from the hips, went up the sides to his chest before moving around to his back and plunging down to cup his backside. He squeezed the soft flesh as he thrusted up into the tight heat. Janus moved a hand to Marcus’ face, brushing his lips with his fingertips. Marcus kissed each of them until Janus’ thumb plunged into his mouth.

Janus' usual composure was nowhere to be seen now. The look he was giving Marcus was almost desperate and his breath was coming in ragged gasps. Marcus would have been lying if he had said that it did not give him immense satisfaction to make the colonel fall apart like this, even though Janus was doing most of the work.

Marcus took a firm hold of the man on top of him and flipped them both over until Janus was under him. The transition was somewhat spoiled when Janus gave a sound of discomfort and gently pushed Marcus away for a moment, so he could settle himself in the new position. Marcus noticed he was moving his left leg gingerly and mentally cursed himself for forgetting about that injury.

Before he could do more than open his mouth to apologise, Janus pulled him close for a breathless kiss. Mindful not to hurt, Marcus entered him again, watching his reaction closely. Janus gave a half-choked chuckle and looked at him fondly before he nodded. Marcus kissed him and began moving inside him. Within seconds he was pounding in earnest.

Their faces were barely an inch apart, their breaths mingling. Janus soon lost all control, moaning Marcus’ name with each thrust. Fingers wove in Marcus’ hair and nails raked at his back, causing him to bury a groan in the crook of Janus’ neck. He licked and sucked at the skin there as he started fucking Janus faster and harder than ever. Janus let out a moan that was almost a scream and his hands moved wildly over every part of Marcus’ body they could reach, as if he wanted to touch all of him at once.

He looked up at Janus’ face. His eyes were shut tight and he was biting his lip so hard Marcus expected it to start bleeding.

They were both close now, filling the room with the fast rhythm of the creaking bed and of their bodies slapping against each other, mixed with their own panting and groaning.

Marcus grabbed Janus’ cock and started pumping him in time with his own pounding.

“Janus,” he gasped. “Look at me.”

Those huge grey eyes bore into him, burning hot with lust. Marcus heard himself give a choked out scream as he came.

He collapsed on top of Janus, riding out the orgasm. A moment later, Janus dug his nails painfully into his shoulders and Marcus felt hot liquid spill on his abdomen.

Boneless from exhaustion, they lay with their limbs uncomfortably entwined, breathing hard against each other. Janus’ fingertips were drawing slow, tiny circles on Marcus’ scalp. Marcus' head was light with post-coital bliss.

Eventually, Janus extricated himself from under Marcus and lay down at his side, nestled between him and the wall. Marcus brushed his hand slowly over Janus' face, leaving kisses in the wake of his fingers and smiled at Janus' contented sigh. They held and caressed each other lazily until sleep came, which did not take long.

Just as Marcus was drifting into unconsciousness, Janus kissed a slow line upwards through his beard along his jaw. When he reached his ear he said something in the softest whisper. So soft that Marcus could not be entirely sure he'd actually heard it.

But he recognised the words nonetheless. They warmed his heart and tore at it at the same time. It was more than he could bear. He ignored them.

~

When Marcus woke up, it could not have been more than a few hours later. Janus was asleep next to him. Marcus looked at him.

His left arm was draped across Marcus' chest with his hand resting under Marcus' own. Janus’ head lay on the pillow, half hidden, but his lips brushed Marcus' shoulder. His breath was light and warm. Marcus saw the tips of his own fingers resting on Janus' neck. He looked down at their naked bodies, uncovered in the too-warm room. Janus’ side rose and fell slowly with his breathing, leading Marcus’ gaze down to the roundness of his backside, soft and inviting. One leg was crossed over his own two, placing Janus' thigh a hair away from touching Marcus' cock. It was perfect.

Careful not to wake him, Marcus got up. He took a chair and sat with his back to the bed. He dropped his face in his hands and tried not to think.

But he did think.

He thought of Jen. Of every night they spent together. He thought of the taste of her mouth and the softness of her body under his. He thought of the temple, of the lightning playing through her fingers and the harsh words she had spoken to him. He thought of her senseless form in his tent.

He did not think about Janus. He did not need to. Janus’ presence permeated him.

He felt sick. He gritted his teeth against the lump on his throat.

There was a rustle of cloth behind him and Marcus froze with his breath catching in his throat. The bed groaned and there were soft footsteps followed by another whisper of fabric.

Something fell on Marcus' shoulders. His own jacket.

He raised his head and saw Janus take a seat slightly apart from him. He was still mostly undressed, but he was wearing his trousers. He sat patiently, looking at Marcus. His eyes were worried and knowing. _Of course they are._

"Forgive me, Marcus," he said. "I should have..." He did not say what he should have done. He looked down instead.

After a moment of silence, Marcus spoke up. "I can't be with you."

"I know."

Marcus sighed. "Not... not now."

At that, Janus looked up with a faint hopeful smile. He nodded.

They sat looking at each other for a few minutes more. Then, when neither spoke again, Janus gave another small nod, apparently for his own benefit and rose. He collected his shirt and put it on, standing in a corner with his back to the room.

Unsure whether to feel grateful at the privacy he was being offered, or concerned that he had offended the colonel, Marcus went to pick up his own clothes. He got dressed quickly, trying to ignore the dried mess on his skin.

Once he was wearing his uniform again and there was nothing to occupy him, Marcus felt wretched again. Part of him wanted to leave the room then and there, in what would have been a rather cowardly fashion. Another part ignored the past few minutes altogether and told him to rush back into Janus’ arms, to forget everything for another while…just for a while.

Realising he had been standing still and quiet for far too long, he turned back towards Janus, wanting to say something to him. Anything.

Before he could collect his thoughts, Janus raised a silencing hand. “None of that, Marcus, please. I am the one who must apologise. Given your… situation, my behaviour was unforgivable.”

Marcus ran back through his memory everything that had happened since they were standing on the deck. He shook his head. “I hardly see it that way.”

Janus looked at him solemnly for a moment, then nodded.

“Go get some rest now. In the morning this will…you will feel better.” Janus laid a hand on Marcus’ shoulder and gripped it. It was the touch of a friend, not of a lover. Something relaxed in Marcus’ chest.

"Thank you, Sir.”

Janus gave him one of his customary smiles, there and gone again. This time, Marcus thought he could detect the barest hint of sadness in it.

"Good night, Captain.”


End file.
